One-on-ones can be the most important meetings in your schedule, according to Steven Rodelberg, a professor of organizational science, management and psychology at UNC Charlotte. He actually wrote a whole book about them: “Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings.”
Rodelberg’s research shows that effective one-on-one meetings benefit managers and their direct reports alike. These regular check-ins help build trust and open communication, improve employee engagement and performance, and can boost team success.
One-on-one meetings are also an opportunity for managers to ensure they’re doing their part to create an inclusive organization by hearing and promoting the voices of their team members. “1:1s allow their (direct report’s) unique lived experiences at work to be better understood and taken into consideration when making decisions and solving problems,” Rodelberg says in his book.
Here are some tips for how to make your one-on-ones more effective and avoid common pitfalls:
Pick a regular cadence and stick to it. Weekly is best, but biweekly can also be effective, and just 30 to 45 minutes is often long enough. This more frequent cadence, rather than monthly or quarterly, helps keep momentum and makes it easier to offer useful feedback and track development. If adding more meeting time for direct reports gives you pause, know that Rodelberg’s research shows that employees who see their one-on-ones as effective actually want more of those meetings, not fewer.
Let the direct report decide the agenda — and the setting. A one-on-one is about the direct report, so they should be in the driver’s seat. A shared agenda doc, which the direct report adds to first, can be a great tool for prioritizing what the direct report wants to discuss, while still leaving room for the manager to note items they’d also like to touch on. When I’ve used these shared agendas, as both the direct report and as the manager, I’ve found there is usually a lot of overlap of topics we both want to cover.
In terms of setting, when possible, face-to-face in-person meetings are best, but one-on-ones can be equally effective in a remote setting. In either case, let the direct report decide their preferred setting. A coffeeshop might sound fun, but your direct report may prefer a more private setting in the office. Some people like to walk and talk (either together in person or via phone), but others like a setting where they can more easily refer to or take notes. As a manager, your one-on-ones with each direct report will look different.
Pay attention to who’s doing the talking. If you’re the manager, talk less. The direct report should do most of the talking in a one-on-one. This meeting is about them, after all.
Avoid making it a status meeting. One-on-ones shouldn’t be about sharing updates on where projects stand. An effective one-on-one should address not just the tactical needs of an employee, Rosenberg says, but also the personal needs — to feel trusted, respected and included. So, rather than focusing on status updates, as a manager, think about the following as crucial tools in your one-on-one toolbox:
- Listening: This is a space for you to give your full attention and really listen to your direct report. If it’s hard to resist jumping in, consider practicing a form of constructivist listening, where you give someone the chance to share their thoughts and feelings without interruption, commentary, questions or adding in your own personal story or perspective.
- Coaching: One-on-ones should be a place where direct reports can talk through roadblocks. As the manager, resist the urge to problem-solve for your employee. Instead, lean on questions and help them surface potential solutions.
- Feedback: Make sure your direct report knows one-on-ones are a time to seek feedback, both constructive and positive. And as a manager, don’t store up all your positive feedback for a one-on-one. This piece by Jill Geisler, a clinical professor of journalism, leadership and ethics at Loyola University, Chicago and an API collaborator, offers great tips for incorporating regular positive feedback.
- Development: Check in regularly on goals, both related to job performance and professional development. Managers, ask your employee how you can best support them; ask whether there are additional skills or experiences they’d like to help them grow. According to Gallup, employees who feel someone at work is invested in their development have higher engagement, which in turn can lead to higher well-being and productivity and less employee turnover.
End the meeting well. One-on-ones often tend to end abruptly when the clock runs out, or drift right past the end time for those of us more accustomed to a drawn-out Midwestern farewell than an Irish goodbye. Instead, with a few minutes left, start to end the meeting. Review any action items, note any follow-up or topics to return to next week, and try to end on a positive note. A good one-on-one ends with the direct report feeling more positive and confident, even when challenging topics were discussed.
